The Fire Under The Mountain: A CYOA Actual Play

By Tomer Gurantz, Keeper of the Squamous Beast Below

Back in early November, Steven Stewart, being inspired by a Cheat Your Own Adventure (CYOA) play-by-post thread in the Gauntlet Slack, created a new #cyoa_play channel specifically for the purpose of running more such games.

The first was The Fire Under The Mountain, a Gamma World, gonzo-inspired CYOA game. This was a somewhat normal CYOA, however Steven did set up an NPC in the first scene, and declared that if we ever rolled doubles, then we’d have to narrate something bad happening, such as the death of this extra character. As it turned out, they were safe the entire time!

This game was played during one and half weeks by Steven Stewart, James Ryan, Andrew Hauge, Jim Crocker, and Tomer Gurantz. Come, join us...

Page 1

You stand with all your worldly possessions in your hand, a steel spear, a glow stick which will give enough light as a candle for a few days, and your most prized Possession, the Magical Yeti Cup of keeping things both warm and cold. Beside you, your fellow villager Iridium weeps, pointing as smoke, fires, and laser beams rain down on your humble village. A death bot has finally found your village. You and Iridium were out picking the special magical weed that the village elders like to smoke. You know in a month's time the Deathbot will have finished its job, clearing the land, leaving a smooth gray surface, sterile of life, with little white lines on it and a giant empty building of blue and gray with the giant letters “W A L M A R T” on it. strange letters that the elders do not know the meaning but know it means death. Behind you lies the path up the mountain. That path you have been told leads to one of the Ancient Villages or Fortresses. To the East lies the Irradiated Grass Sea, home to who knows What, but definitely mutants. Maybe they will be friendly. No one has spoken of the north lands. To the South is what is left of your Village. Iridium pulls themselves together and looks at you. “Now Strider of the Weed (your village name) which way do we go?”

• To warm the magical weed in your Magical Yeti Cup, and partake of the guiding visions of your ancestors, go to page 420. (The bolded choice is the path taken)
• To hide until the death bot passes, and then explore the strange building it leaves behind, turn to 111.
• To set a course for the Irradiated Sea, turn to page 7.

Page 420

You place the purple buds of the dry magical weed in your Magical Yeti Cup, say the mystical phrases, and clap two times. You don't have to wait long before it warms, and exudes the reassuring scent of the magic-weed. Iridium doesn't partake, sitting nearby, weeping quietly. Iridium never partakes. You take off your shirt, and place it over your head and the vessel, allowing the sacred fumes to fill your lungs, breathing deeply. The sound of lasers and burning and gentle weeping slowly recede, replaced by other things…

You hear a familiar voice trying to tell you of a place to go. You feel giant letters being seared into your head. You see a path made of glowing neon under the earth. You sense a change in air pressure, perhaps rain. You taste bitter, burning meat on your tongue, tinged with sadness. And smell crushed herbs and brush of a neighboring land. Which of these signs is meant to help you? You think you know. You lift your shirt to make a decision.

• If you think the spirits of the ancients are guiding you to go up the mountain of the Ancients turn to page 99.
• If you recklessly swig down the bitter herbal brew to keep the visions fresh and set off to the East where the Deathbot came from, turn to page 47.
• If you seek the neon path underground, turn to page 302.
• If you comfort Iridium, then report your vision and ask their advice, turn to 65.

Page 47

You trudge Eastward down the slope, the setting sun low behind you. Iridium walks numbly a few paces behind you. You cross the Verge, the charred, barren strip of land between the hills and the Sea of Grass, quickly, and plunge into the stunningly verdant chest-high blades. It’ll be dark soon, and you’re tired, but the eerie tracers of the path of the Deathbot still linger in your vision, rising from a spot somewhere in the depths of the Sea. The soft emerald glow the veins of the grass emit are just enough to travel by as the dark descends, but this is also when the MowBots roam these plains. What do you do?

• If you search for a hollow in the earth where you and Iridium can hide, turn to page 214.
• If you think you better wait till morning, and suggest to Iridium that you better not light a fire to avoid attracting mutants or bots and instead should snuggle together for body warmth turn to page 68.
• Mowbots be damned! To continue onwards through the night, turn to page 98.

Page 68

Iridium looks at you and looks at themselves. You have been trying to hit on them since your coming of age ceremony. It was only because they wanted to get out of the village they agreed to go with you in the first place. They finally say “Oh Frac whatever” (a curse in your language). “I will keep watch first. But no funny business.” You snuggle up with them with the green glowing grass all around you. The herbs are still giving you a good buzz although now you are very hungry and having a hard time going to sleep. You hear some strange hooting way off in the distance to the east of you but Iridium doesn’t say anything. They look half asleep themselves but may be watching. You luckily can’t hear any more screams from the village, just the smoke still ascending as the deathbot now starts to clean up. As you think about how your life is changed and how some fried and smoked giant locusts would be great, Iridium rolls over getting closer to you in the cold. They have fallen asleep.

• If you fall into a deep sleep, turn to page 31.
• If you go check out the hooting sounds, turn to page 88.
• If you give Iridium an exasperated poke in the ribs and tell them to stay awake for the rest of their watch before drifting back into shallow, troubled sleep, turn to page 22.

Page 31

As you slip into unconsciousness, a strange sensation overtakes you, and you feel strange dreams threading themselves into your awareness. Snatches of sounds, colors, action, events...

"...tear down this wall!"

"I cast Magic Missile..."

"... we're going, we won't need..."

"When in the course of human events..."

"STELLA!"

"I... just have to tell you how I'm feeling, maybe make you..."

"...scruffy-looking nerf..."

• To focus on the strongest signal, and stare into the abyss, go to page 77.
• If you wake up and shake Iridium awake to tell them of your awesome vision while continuing to crave something fatty and crunchy to eat turn to page 67.
• If you awake with a start howling “NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO”, causing one of the MowBots to twist its parabolic microphone towards you, turn to page 37.

Page 77

You focus on the strongest signal, and zoom in. There is a planet, lush and thriving. You see a moon up in the sky. Wait, that is no... A transmission: "_...reluctant to provide us with the location of the Rebel base, I have chosen to test this station's destructive power on your home planet..._" You find yourself walking through a narrow tunnel, underground, dark and smooth. Iridium follows behind you asking, "Strider! Strider! Can you even hear me? Where are you leading us?" You hear a sound from behind you, an initiation of a great rumbling. A great weapon. A large neon beam, glowing, under the earth, down the tunnel, as it sears the meat off your flesh, and leaves nothing but bones and dust.

THE END... but, cheat by going back to page 31 and choosing:

• If you wake up and shake Iridium awake to tell them of your awesome vision while continuing to crave something fatty and crunchy to eat turn to page 67.

Page 67

You wake up totally jazzed about your vision. The dawn is coming up over the wavy green glowing grass. Iridium wakes up irritated and cold, and eyeing you like maybe you did something while you were sleeping last night. You don’t even bother reminding them they fell asleep on watch. You are just getting to the part about “Stella” when they point behind you saying “did it sound like that?”. You whip around and see three strange humans. One is a purple and very statuesque looking woman about 7 feet tall. Another is green and hunched over with pointy ears. It is obviously a man, you can tell due to its lack of clothing. The last you can’t tell as it is covered in a Prismatic poncho that almost goes to the ground with a large deep hood. Mutants you think. The small green one is holding a stick thing out with a small metallic box. Blazing out of it are words of your vision in a buzzy voice.

• If you repeat the words of the vision, turn to page 25.
• If you frantically beg them to shut it off before it attracts the attention of a Bot of some kind, turn to page 33.
• If you watch as Iridium approaches them, and see what Iridium does, turn to page 64.

Page 64

Iridium approaches the three mutants confidently. So many thoughts quickly float through your head. Does Iridium know these mutants? Or does Iridium know how to put them down? Make friends with them? Know their weakness?

It turns out, none of these things. The large purple statuesque looking woman points at Iridium and appears to control them with her mind. The green one hands Iridium a strange device, which Iridium then turns and points at your chest. The loud sizzling sound is the last you hear, before the world goes dark.

THE END... but, cheat by going back to page 67 and choosing:

• If you repeat the words of the vision, turn to page 25.

Page 25

The mutant in the poncho nods slowly upon hearing your words. "One small step for man," they intone, clapping hands together briefly. The other two figures follow suit, looking first at Iridium and then back at you.

The green one bows slightly, and pulls a sack out of one of their pouches. They retrieve a handful of purple pellets, and offer one to you and one to Iridium. "A whole new world."

• If you refuse the pellets and make a run for it turning north to the cold unknown lands turn to page 78.
• If you take the purple pill and see just how deep the rabbit hole goes, turn to Page 99.
• If you take what the mutant is saying literally, put the pill on the ground and step on them, turn to page 163.

Page 163

You step on the pill and crush it with your foot. A purple gas escapes... more gas than could possibly fit in that little pill. You immediately hold your breath to avoid breathing in what appears to be toxic fumes, but the mutant in the poncho steps on your foot, and you gasp in pain, sucking in that gas. You brace for pain.

But it doesn't come. Instead you feel your consciousness expand. You... "you" starts to become a fuzzy concept. "We"? Yes, we are now five mutants... Iridium and Strider no longer exist on their own. We travel the wasteland, giving others purple pills. And then soon we are 12. And then 94. And then 513. And our army sweeps across the land, growing larger, and larger…

THE END... but, cheat by going back to page 25 and choosing:

• If you take the purple pill and see just how deep the rabbit hole goes, turn to Page 99.

Page 99

You take the pill and dry-swallow it. It's coppery-tasting and maybe tingles a little as it goes down. "Hello, Host" you hear a voice say inside your head. "I hope that we will find harmony after our trial. I am sorry that this will hurt at first."

Sharp pains shoot through your guts as you feel something happening down there.

Ah. Clarity now. It wasn't a pill. It was a seed, and now it's growing.

• If you try to vomit up the seed, turn to page 104.
• If you turn to Iridium and have them use their special powers on you, turn to page 54.
• If you ask one of the mutants what is happening turn to page 72

Page 54

You look to Iridium, concern on your face. "Umm... I think I feel something growing inside of me", you state, knowing that Iridium is the most well regarded healer of this generation.

Iridium turns to you, reaches their hand out to touch your belly, and concentrates. Their eyes roll up slightly into their head, and they have a glazed look, as they concentrate their powers on your being. After a moment, their focus returns, and they stare you straight in the face, with a calm and happy look. "You have been blessed. They will be twins, and they will bring new light into the world... if you can keep them safe."

The mutants bow to you, and head to the North. You look West, behind you, and think of your distant village, and the holy mountain next to it. You hear the buzz of a Death Bot in the far distance to the East. You look at  Iridium, and see a look of hope and expectation in their eyes you haven't seen before.

• If you smile at Iridium through the slow but relentless rearranging of your organs and turn South towards the unknown, knowing they'll fall in step alongside you, turn to Page 77.
• If you call out to the mutants, "I Strider of the Weeds will bear forth the Holy Ones that will rise up and cleanse this land of any that harm your followers, come and be the first disciples of the Chosen Ones in the Unseen Womb" turn to page 56
• If you turn back West to reclaim the scorched land of your village, turn to page 3.

Page 56

The green naked mutant stops and spins. He twiddles with the controls and there is static followed by a blaring out of a very charismatic voice speaking in a language you almost understand “Ask not what your country can do for you but what you can do for your country”.

The prismatic poncho mutant has a very raspy voice and when it speaks you get an overpowering smell of decaying roses.

“Make .... it .... so.... Number ...... One......”

The statuesque mutant saunters over towering over the two of you. In a seductive motherly voice she booms, “We thank you for your gift to us, we have been waiting a long time. I gift you the gift of quickening.” She leans over giving you a full kiss on the mouth.

Deep inside you feel your insides expand. It is all going a lot faster than you can process. You scream out as it feels like your body, especially your belly, is expanding faster than you could ever think until it burst open.

Right before you die in the green glowing grass, you make out six figures walking away. Two of them small, child size. One turns and looks at you as they walk away and you see a very strange mix of your features and Iridium in their face.

THE END... but, cheat by going back to page 54 and choosing:

• If you turn back West to reclaim the scorched land of your village, turn to page 3.

Page 3

With no hesitation, you turn west and stride back the way you came, back through the wastelands, past the strange sights and perils which once felt threatening to you. The world is new, and the world has changed, and now hope shines in your heart. You crest the hill to the blackened earth where your village once stood, and kneel silently in the middle of it. The Deathbot has been distracted from its task, it seems, and all that stands as evidence of it is a square of dull paved gray in the center of the village. Here, then, is where you will make a home to last for years to come, where you have always made your home.

And yet, something is new. Iridium begins clapping their hands in a rhythm, voice lifting high above the ruins of humanity in this strange world. You join in, eyes closed, and if you listen closely, you feel as though you can almost hear the singing of a multitude echoing back to you, the multitude of all those who are to follow, all those who will look back to this village as their birthplace, the birthplace of a new world.

THE END.